Not only did they not look anything like the little cartoon characters in the ads, they weren\u2019t very interesting and they didn\u2019t live long. And, much like the poor goldfish from the circus, they were flush…. oops… given our family\u2019s version of a burial at sea.<\/p>\n That was the end of the story… until my nine-year-old eyes locked on to a supermarket tabloid headline about some alligator or snake or something crawling out of a sewer in an exotic urban East coast locale. What do you think this did for a kid with a slightly overactive imagination?<\/p>\n My young Lizard Brain was instantly convinced that the sea monkeys would come to life and crawl back home — by way of the shower drain, the bathroom faucet… or maybe the toilet.<\/p>\n [bctt tweet=”My young Lizard Brain was convinced that the sea monkeys would come to life & crawl back home.” username=”AndreaPatten”]<\/p>\n An Inner Critic<\/a> can be a lot like sea monkeys in the sewer. I actually imagined\u00a0them swimming through the pipes, grazing on people\u2019s crap… And, like all crap-feeders, getting bigger and stronger as they made the trek\u2026 Wait… What about the alligator in Newark? What if our flushed monkeys weren’t really sea monkeys but alligator eggs? What would happen if they grew to be giants? And took a wrong turn and came back through the toilet? While Grandma was on it?<\/p>\n [bctt tweet=”An Inner Critic can be a lot like sea monkeys in the sewer.” username=”AndreaPatten”]<\/p>\n Well, that\u2019s how an inner critic<\/a> behaves: improperly disposed of, it trolls around looking for a giant shit sandwich on which to feed and then\u2026 zingo\u2026 it\u2019s growing faster than an imaginary alligator!<\/p>\n How do you get rid of an imaginary alligator?<\/p>\n You\u00a0call imaginary animal control. Uncle Stumpy\u2019s Gator Gone truck. Google \u2018alligator removal\u2019 if you don\u2019t believe me.<\/p>\n They’re expensive, but who cares? You\u2019re finally going to get rid of the alligator, the sea monkeys, the giant snake or whatever other fears and phobias you\u2019ve been dragging around behind you.<\/p>\n The gator guys\u00a0arrive in a truck that looks like it should have been sent for parts\u00a0 — \u00a0you\u2019re not convinced. They don\u2019t look too sharp and the only tools they seem to have brought are a stick, a rope,\u00a0and some duct tape.<\/p>\n And just when you\u2019re about to send them on their way, the smaller one lets out a yelp and starts to run. There\u2019s nobody standing around the truck — they\u2019ve gone after your gator!<\/p>\n There\u2019s splashin\u2019 and thumpin\u2019 and somebody yellin\u2019 \u2013 and suddenly they\u2019re back with your gator dangling on a long pole between them, duct tape securing its powerful jaws. Duly chastened, it can no longer do any damage to you, your cat or any butt that chooses to perch on the throne in your powder room\u2026.That super-sized, crap-swilling gator is now just an ugly little dinosaur wearing a muzzle.<\/p>\n [bctt tweet=”That super-sized, crap-swilling gator is now just an ugly little dinosaur wearing a muzzle.” username=”AndreaPatten”]<\/p>\n And the Gator Guys\u00a0look a lot more like George Clooney.<\/p>\n p.s. Laughter is one of my favorite ways to muzzle that\u00a0Inner Critic.<\/a><\/p>\n ##<\/p>\n![\"Brine](\"\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/c\/cc\/Artemia_monica.jpg\/670px-Artemia_monica.jpg\" "\\"Brine")
<\/a>![\"A](\"\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/en\/thumb\/0\/0b\/Swimming_gator.jpg\/670px-Swimming_gator.jpg\" "\\"A")
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