I remember standing at the front of a room full of dozens of sad, dejected women. We were in the cafeteria of an inpatient addiction treatment facility and it was mothers day. Some of the women had known me for a few weeks, others not at all. I had no idea what they were expecting of me when I said, “Wow. A day to make us feel like lousy mothers and lousier daughters: show of hands, how may of you think this holiday was invented by a man?”<\/p>\n

Ice broken, we went on to talk about mother-guilt and daughter-guilt in a way that made all of us feel a bit better about the circumstances faced by these women and their families. Some had children in state’s custody, a system many of them had known since early in their own lives. Some raged about being set up and having their kids taken away. Others were hopeful that, by complying with a plan that included a drug-free life, their families would be reunited. Healed. What loomed more immediately on the horizon was visiting hours — disappointing on most Sundays, heartbreaking on this one.<\/p>\n

Mothers Who Drink or Use Drugs<\/h4>\n

People who consume alcohol or other mood-altering substances don’t choose to become alcoholics or drug addicts any more than people who consume food choose to become diabetic. The women in my group were suffering from various forms of \u00a0chemical dependency, The largest association of physicians \u2013 the American Medical Association<\/a>(AMA) \u2013 declared that alcoholism was an illness in 1956, yet here we were in a locked-down inpatient rehab facility that as only as step or two above the cells from which so many had been transferred. And what had transferred right along with them was the feeling of being criminals.<\/p>\n

Aside. [stage whisper] \u00a0Do you know why people drink alcohol or use other drugs? It’s pretty simple, really. People drink or take drugs because they works. Pleasure. Relaxation. Celebration. The lowering of inhibitions that help some people enjoy social gatherings. Drinking works. Until it doesn’t.<\/p>\n

Mothers Deserve Help<\/h4>\n

But whether you’re a mother or a daughter or someone who loves them there is help available — on mothers day or any other.<\/p>\n

I wish you all happiness and the health to enjoy it. And here’s a little gift for the quotation lovers in the house.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

A Little Wisdom About Mothers<\/h4>\n

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. ~ Maya Angelou<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We are born of love; love is our mother. ~ Rumi<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother.<\/p>\n

\n

Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us? ~ Alyson Hannigan<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. ~ Theodore Hesburgh<\/span><\/p>\n

My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent. ~ Ruth Bader Ginsburg<\/p>\n

Motherhood brings you to your knees in a way that doesn’t leave room for you to judge others. It makes you see that there’s no ideal \u2014 a constant struggle, constantly compromising, but ultimate love. ~ Maggie Gyllenhaal<\/p>\n

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~Spanish proverb<\/p>\n

\n

My two-year-old referred to her coat pockets as “snack holes,” and this is what I shall forever call them. ~ Rebecca Caprara<\/p>\n

Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious.<\/p>\n

\n

I met my match. She is very demanding, like, I can\u2019t believe I have a boss. When my baby wanna eat, she wanna eat. It\u2019s not like, \u201cOh, three minutes?\u201d No. Give me the milk now. ~ Cardi B<\/p>\n

Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not. ~James Joyce<\/p>\n

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~ Irish Proverb<\/p>\n

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. ~ Jill Churchill<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Happy Other Days<\/a><\/p>\n

A Favorite Mothers Day Story<\/a><\/p>\n

Silly, Stupid Proud Momma Moment\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I remember standing at the front of a room full of dozens of sad, dejected women. We were in the cafeteria of an inpatient addiction treatment facility and it was mothers day. Some of the women had known me for a few weeks, others not at all. I had no idea what they were expecting of me when I said, “Wow. A day to make us feel like lousy mothers and lousier daughters: show of hands, how may of you think this holiday was invented by a man?” Ice broken, we went on to talk about mother-guilt and daughter-guilt in a way that made all of us feel a bit better about the circumstances faced by these women and their families. Some had children in state’s custody, a system many of them had known since early in their own lives. Some raged about being set up and having their kids taken away. Others were hopeful that, by complying with a plan that included a drug-free life, their families would be reunited. Healed. What loomed more immediately on the horizon was visiting hours — disappointing on most Sundays, heartbreaking on this one. Mothers Who Drink or Use Drugs People who consume alcohol or other mood-altering substances don’t choose to become alcoholics or drug addicts any more than people who consume food choose to become diabetic. The women in my group were suffering from various forms of \u00a0chemical dependency, The largest association of physicians \u2013 the American Medical Association(AMA) \u2013 declared that alcoholism was an illness in 1956, yet here we were in a locked-down inpatient rehab facility that as only as step or two above the cells from which so many had been transferred. And what had transferred right along with them was the feeling of being criminals. Aside. [stage whisper] \u00a0Do you know why people drink alcohol or use other drugs? It’s pretty simple, really. People drink or take drugs because they works. Pleasure. Relaxation. Celebration. The lowering of inhibitions that help some people enjoy social gatherings. Drinking works. Until it doesn’t. Mothers Deserve Help But whether you’re a mother or a daughter or someone who loves them there is help available — on mothers day or any other. I wish you all happiness and the health to enjoy it. And here’s a little gift for the quotation lovers in the house. A Little Wisdom About Mothers To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. ~ Maya Angelou We are born of love; love is our mother. ~ Rumi Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother. Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us? ~ Alyson Hannigan The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. ~ Theodore Hesburgh My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent. ~ Ruth Bader Ginsburg Motherhood brings you to your knees in a way that doesn’t leave room for you to judge others. It makes you see that there’s no ideal \u2014 a constant struggle, constantly compromising, but ultimate love. ~ Maggie Gyllenhaal An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~Spanish proverb My two-year-old referred to her coat pockets as “snack holes,” and this is what I shall forever call them. ~ Rebecca Caprara Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. I met my match. She is very demanding, like, I can\u2019t believe I have a boss. When my baby wanna eat, she wanna eat. It\u2019s not like, \u201cOh, three minutes?\u201d No. Give me the milk now. ~ Cardi B Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not. ~James Joyce A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~ Irish Proverb There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. ~ Jill Churchill   Happy Other Days A Favorite Mothers Day Story Silly, Stupid Proud Momma Moment\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15531,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,8],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-15356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-special-topics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15356","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15356"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15356\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15540,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15356\/revisions\/15540"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15356"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreapatten.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=15356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}